Monday, August 13, 2007 8:47 PM, CDT

Part II
However, if you listen carefully you should hear a little voice from within saying, “why not me.” And at first you don’t want to listen to that voice because the concept is so counter-intuitive. And it is to much easier to be pissed off and sad because you never asked for the situation. However, there’s also a comfort to “why not me?” because it is the only answer to the question, “why me?” And you yourself, are the only who can provide the answer. And live with it. And eventually move on.
There’s a great quote from Robert Frost, “The best way out is always through.” I’m working my way through, one day at a time, one treatment at a time, one scan at a time. I have no idea what my way out will be but I know what I’m hoping for.
I’m also able to look at people who’ve beat the odds and beat cancer; People like Lance Armstrong and John Lester (who, tomorrow night, will make his first Fenway debut after his cancer diagnosis and I cannot wait to see the standing ovation the fans will give him). And they can ask themselves the same question, “why me?” Why was I able to beat cancer when so many people lose their life? And the answer is always the same, “why not me?”
There are two sides of the coin and one is so obviously better than the other and I’m hoping to look back at my experience with the same retrospect as Armstong, Lester and so many others that have beat the odds and astounded their doctors!
I may have mentioned this before but back during the whole crazy time of diagnosis when all the doctors could say was, “this is a very unusual case. You’re not presenting as a normal case,” (Dr Walsh even laughs when we talk about how unusual my case is because nothing has been “normal” since day one and it seems that every conversation we have during every stage of the way he has had to say, “well, you’re not the usual case….”), my friend Alison Vigeant gave me some encouraging words. She said to me, “well, then I’m going to go with the thought that your recovery will be nothing but unusual as well. They’re scratching their heads at your diagnosis and they’ll be scratching their head as they watch you recover and beat this thing.”
I’m with Alison!!! J
I cannot thank you all enough for your kind words—Allison Labovitz: thank you for the pep talk the other day--you brought tears to my eyes and made me feel strong. Lori Quinn: Your email was so touching it made me cry. But, both of you made me cry in a good way!! J Thank You
I can’t thank you all enough for all your support and your prayers. You’ve carried me so far!
I’ll be updating you all in the next week as I get my PET scan and we meet with Dr. Walsh next Monday at 2PM….yikes!! My emotions are all jumbled between excited anxiety for good news and a strange sense of dread as I worry that the news will not be good.
Continue to enjoy the summer!! Kerry Bergeron: get going on those back to school supplies—the sales are great right now…I’m way behind so I’ll have the euphoria of buying a whole bunch of them all at once ( I have an obsession with magic markers, glue sticks, crayons, colored pencils, etc….you should see my stash---However, I think the actual obsession is with shopping but that’s another story for another day—just ask my mother and my sister—Lynne Whitaker, your mother and I could have had so much fun shopping—Kerry has actually started to call me Sue)!! If I spent half my time and effort in the gym instead of the mall, I might be able to get back in shape…hmmm….that’s a thought I’ll have to consider when the kids go back to school!!!!
Love,
Kim