Tuesday, February 10, 2009 10:48 AM, CST

Hi Guys,
It’s been a few weeks since my last post, which I know was most confusing. I tried to make it easy to understand but it is all still confusing.
I heard from Dr. Walsh and the news seems to be good. He consulted several other doctors and everyone agrees that the chemo seems to be working. Even the Nuclear Medicine Doctors (those are the guys who interpret the PET scans) feel that the January PET scan looks better than the August scan.
Dr. Walsh reminded us that there can be a discrepancy in the interpretations because PET scans and CT scans are taken as “slices.” They are literally thousands of pictures, like slices, put together to make one image. There is no way that they can get the same slices in the same places every single time. I still don’t know why the nuclear guys think the January scan looks better than August but I’ll try to get more information on that.
And because the chemo seems to be working, I’m going to finish out this round of chemo and have another 6 week cycle and have more scans. That should be the week of April 6th. And not to get all sappy BUT that is Easter week and Easter just so happens to be one of my favorite holidays. I just love the contrast of the light, happiness and hope that Easter is after the dark, somewhat depressing 40 days of lent—especially during the week/weekend leading up to Easter. So I guess I’ll be hoping for a little Easter magic.
Anyway…..things seem to be going in the right direction. I’m hoping that they truly are. Dr. Walsh told me during that horrible January 12th meeting that I could have as little as 6 months to live—but that I might have as much as a year. That was some sobering news. But, now it all seems to be better news. I always ask Greg, “So do you think I’ll be around to go to the Holden Pool?” when it’s winter and then in the summer I ask, “So do you think I’ll be here for Christmas?” Right now, the thinks I’ll be here for the pool AND for Christmas! J
AND, I have my wig. I’m LOVING it. It’s definitely thicker than my hair was and that’s taking some getting used to. But it’s all one length just like mine was and I can just tuck it behind my ears like I used to so I think I look pretty much the same. My sister loves it and thinks I’m crazy that I worry that it’s too thick. She reminds me that I’ve always, always wanted thick hair and now I can pretend like I have some! And I guess she’s right, I mean, why would anyone make a wig that looked thin like mine did. J
The color is almost perfect. Although Greg has said, “wow, it’s not as dark on top as yours was.” RIGHT Greg….that was because I highlight my hair—now I don’t have to worry about it. I do think the top looks a bit like the top of Ted Koppel’s head and that stresses me out a bit but my friends and family have said it looks totally natural and that I don’t remind them of Ted Koppel at all!!
It takes some getting used to putting it on because you have to try to make the hair line look natural. The wig doesn’t have bangs so I have to really think about it when I put it on. I can’t have it too far back and I can’t have it too far down on my forehead. Then I have this tape that I use to literally stick it to my head. Talk about weird!! And I was nervous the first time I skied with it on because I was afraid it would fly right off my head—how awful would that be!! Have you seen the ad where the guy is on a bike and his toupee comes flying off??? Well, that’s what I was afraid of.
And I have a head that I put it on when I’m not wearing it. The head totally freaks Steven out. I can wash my wig but only once a month or so and it’s about time that I wash it. I’m nervous about washing it because I wonder what it’s going to look like when it dries. My friends said how fun it would be to style your hair when it’s on the head—kind of like when you were a little girl and you styled your Barbie head!!! I hadn’t thought about it like that! So we’ll see how it goes when I wash it!
And it’s itchy so I have to wear something underneath it. I’d like to be cool and call it my do-rag but it’s UGLY. And I’m always horrified when I put it on— No one will EVER see me without my wig on but I am horrified about how ugly it is underneath my new sexy wig.
My hair is coming back in like crazy!! Which to me doesn’t make sense because I’m still ON the chemo. I asked my hair stylist how long it would take before I have a chin length bob and the answer is……..18 months. 18 MONTHS…are you kidding me???? I’m really bummed about that one. I have never, ever worn my hair short—other than the time my mother gave me a pixie cut when I was about 3. And I swear I remember the haircut and swear that I hated it then and every time I see pictures of myself at that age, I look at my mother and say, “What were you thinking????” She’ll smile and answer, “oh you look adorable,” I didn’t look adorable. And I’m not looking forward to growing my hair out from a short, short hair style to all one length. 18 months….18 MONTHS!!!!
I still have the laryngitis and I’m frustrated with that. I have an appointment tomorrow and I’d like to attempt to get to the bottom of it all. The antibiotics and Motrin seem to make it better. Although we seem to be going with the idea that cancer is somehow giving me laryngitis, I’m going to make them explore some other options because I’m frustrated that I haven’t had my voice for 3 months!
Thank you again for all your beautiful cards, your kind posts and your sweet, supportive emails and phone calls. They mean the world to me.
I’ll let you know any new information!
Love,
Kim