Monday, January 12, 2009 5:11 PM, CST

Hi there,
Thank you for all your positive posts, your sweet emails, and your kind words of encouragement. They mean more to me than you’ll ever know.
We met with Dr. Walsh this morning and the news is not what we had expected or hoped for. The main tumor in my lung seems to have grown slightly while the rest of the diseased areas are stable. He’s pretty sure the cancer is resistant to the new chemo and is progressing albeit slowly. However, he’d like to continue with two more rounds of the chemo because he isn’t 100% sure it isn’t working.
Basically, he’s taking a “leave no stone unturned” approach. He will go to the ends of the Earth and will try whatever there is to try. He’s even considering using traditional Lung Cancer treatments because my cancer is basically of unknown origin.
I’ll have another CT scan this week so Dr. Walsh can take a good look at the structure of my tumors. The PET scan provided excellent information regarding metabolic activity of the cancer but not as precise information regarding structure. He’d like to get a better look at the tumors themselves.
He is also recommending I go back to Dana Farber to discuss Phase I testing possibilities. I’m not entirely on board with the Phase I testing yet because basically, Phase I testing gives patients drugs that have never been used in humans before. So it’s right out of the lab and right into me. As much as I want to live, I’m not quite on board with it yet.
I’m overwhelmed right now with information, disappointment and several other emotions. I don’t have a lot of witty remarks to make today—not even really dark, grim ones. J
Dr. Walsh gave me my wig prescription which I can’t wait to use (I think). Again, I don’t want a phony looking one but I’m not loving the way I look right now. I love Sandy Bosnakis’s suggestion for explaining my lost hair and even think I might look like those people from the H & R Block commercials who are pulling their hair out because it’s tax season! J
That’s the information I have right now. Thank you for your prayers—I might need more because I think I need a miracle.
I will give you more information as I get it. If the CT scan shows anything different (positive or negative) I’ll be sure to let you know.
Love,
Kim