Tuesday, December 18, 2007 9:57 AM, CST

Hello everyone,
I had treatment yesterday after a five week vacation! I was scheduled for treatment the Monday after Thanksgiving. However, I had conjunctivitis in both eyes and a sinus infection. So, they wrote me some prescriptions and sent me home. My next scheduled treatment was December 3rd but we had a snowstorm that day and the kids were home and I couldn’t get there. So I had five weeks off!!!
I think the vacation did me well both emotionally and mentally. I needed a break. Yesterday was the first time in as long as I can remember that I didn’t sit outside in the parking lot before going into treatment and cry. Usually I cry a bit in the car, pull it together to check in and for the examination (except I did cry at the November 12th exam and made my Nurse Practitioner almost cry) and then get to my chemo chair and bawl my eyes out for about 20-30 minutes. I didn’t do any of that yesterday. Before my break I think I was mentally and emotionally tired of the whole thing. It’s been approximately 40 weeks since I started treatment. I had a small break at the end of the summer, I had a week off once when my counts weren’t good…and I can’t remember if I missed any others…..But I’m back in the ring.
I asked Christine, my Nurse Practioner, yesterday about my median survival, which if you’ll remember was 22 months. I was wondering if because I’ve had such a good response do I get to turn the clocks back and still have a full 22 months? And I have to admit I was fighting back the tears when I was asking—I could feel the lump in my throat and the tears right in the back of my eyes—so I guess I wasn’t as tough yesterday as I thought. J. I mean I’ve used up 10 of those 22 months already.
No, I don’t get to turn back the clocks. Your median survival is your median survival…and the number sticks with you from the day you’re diagnosed until well…..
However, due to the advances in colon cancer treatments, my median survival is now 34 months—retroactive of course to Feb 2. But that’s not bad news.
When I told Greg, he took the time to remind me of the difference between a prognosis (which I’ve never been given) and a median survival. A median survival is based on statistics, extrapolating data and bell curves. Here we go…..some math!!! All I know is that with a median survival, you’ve got people who live a lot less than 34 months and those lucky people who live more than those 34 months and then everyone in the middle. Lucky for me, I’m young and healthy and have no co-morbidities (things like high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes—etc). A lot of the time the poor souls with co-morbidities tend to die sooner than the median survival they’re quoted. So I guess I’m ahead of the game at this point.
That’s about the extent of me explaining a median survival….I’m not one to extrapolate data; It’s always best when it’s been extrapolated for me and please, please, please don’t attempt to explain how you did it! J
And speaking of math, you all know how much I hate it. And I’m finding that pretty soon I’ll be completely useless to Steven when he’s looking for help with math homework (any other fourth grade parents feeling the same way??). There are times when he’ll come to me with a question and I’ll look at the sheet and read the directions. Then I’ll look at Steven. He’ll look at me. And we’ll look at each other for a good 30 seconds until I finally shrug my shoulders and have to tell him, “I’m not really sure.”
And have you seen your child do the new math??? No joke, there is such a thing as the new math. I have a tenuous grasp on the old math and when I watch Steven do things like long division or multiplication or large addition/subtraction equations, I sometimes scream, “WHOAH—what are you doing?????” There’s no way I can help him with the new math. No way at all!!!
My Katie turned seven on December 1. Happy Birthday Katie!!! She had a big group of friends to a local bowling alley for a bowling birthday party. If you told me seven years ago that she would have a group of great friends and she would be bowling on her birthday, it would have made my day.
I’m doing my best to get ready for Christmas. I’m not doing very well this year. I still have a lot to do. And in years’ past, I’m usually quite proud that I’m not in the stores in the final week before Christmas—not this year!! I still have to do my Christmas cards—haven’t’ even taken the picture for them yet!!! Aaaahhh the stress. So you may be receiving “New Year’s” cards from us this year…we’ll have to see how well I perform under pressure!
Have a Merry Christmas and Happy and healthy New Year!!!! May you all enjoy the magic that this time of year can offer!
Love,
Kim
Hey Lucia: I just read your post as I was getting ready to put this on the site. Thanks for the message—you’ll definitely get a call when I need a babysitter…you might be sorry you offered!!! J I can’t wait to see the project when it’s done!